Nisemonogatari Episode 8 – I Will Never Brush Again

Friends, after watching this episode, I can tell you this with all the confidence in the world; I have never been, nor do I believe that I ever will be, more uncomfortable watching an episode of anime, television, a movie or anything in a room by myself in my entire life.  It’s one thing for something to make you uncomfortable in front of other people, like watching The Black Swan with girls, but for something to make you uncomfortable while you’re by yourself is an accomplishment that requires some huge recognition.  I was about to explode from anticipation of what was going to happen before Tsukihi walked in and broke it up.  Oh yeah, this is the start of Tsukihi’s arc, but you definitely wouldn’t know that by watching the episode.  She’s in the episode for about thirty seconds total excluding the OP, which is probably going to be  even more obsessed over than Renai Circulation.

There really isn’t much to say about this episode, as it was mostly dedicated to making everyone who watched it feel like they need to go and scrub every inch of their body with sandpaper to cleanse themselves.  They kind of tried to reintroduce Kanbaru into the story by having Karen want to meet her, but we all know what came out of that deal.  I mean, did Araragi just forget that Senjougahara exists and that if it had been her instead of Tsukihi, then he and Karen would have both been dead the very moment she stepped foot into the room?  You might be pushing your luck a little too far this time, Araragi.

Now that’s a rape face if there ever was one.  Actually, I think I’ve figured out what this episode was.  This episode is some wincest hentai that got interrupted at the halfway point where the sex actually starts.  The first half wasn’t even really all that bad.  Even though Karen did say that she’d let Araragi take her virginity, it was pretty obvious that it was meant as a joke.  However, once that toothbrush came out – sweet baby Jesus that shit got real.  I felt like I was committing incest just sitting there and watching that whole scene play out.  And that shit wasn’t like the kiss, where it could easily be taken as brotherly love for his sister, Araragi straight up says, “I think my sister is hot, hearing her moan excites me, and I want to grope her boobs”.  But not only that, After Tsukihi breaks it up and goes to get a fucking awl to stab them to death with (surely she could have thought of something more creative than that), Araragi and Karen don’t back off and admit to each other that what they just did was in any way weird at all.  Instead, they make arrangements to do it again and also trade places sometimes.  Sure, “got along a little bit better” Araragi, whatever you say.

Finally, as this show goes on I’m getting a very bad feeling about how much time is left for Tsukihi’s arc.  Karen’s took seven episodes to complete, and though in the novel Tsukihi’s arc only takes thirteen chapters (whereas Karen’s took twenty two) I can’t help but think that three episodes isn’t enough to complete the whole second half of the series without rushing through it.  Goddammit Shaft, if you pull that ONA shit again, you and I are gonna have a few things to talk about.  And they really have no excuse to need extra episodes because so much of this series has been unnecessary in the overall storyline of the show.  Shaft, you’re making Kizumonogatari, (you’d better be), and three Madoka Magica movies, slow your roll a bit.  If you guys end up bullshitting us on the ending of this show I am personally enrolling every one of your employees in a time management class.