Stupid Shit in Anime – Eden of the East

Bitches don't know what the hell we are!

Oh, Eden of the East, why must you end up in this category?  Well, maybe it’s just because I like the series so much that this one part pisses me off as much as it does. In either the second or third episode Takizawa is driving his motercycle around and comes to a giant fucking hole in the ground where the Missiles hit the ground.  He walks to the edge and, like, swan dives of the broken road into the crater (completely unharmed by the way) and is gangbanged by a bunch of skeleton looking things that he calls “Johnny”, obviously due to the shows obsession with penis.  The show never, EVER, explains what these things are, obviously it’s a hallucination, but why does he have it? Is it because of the mind wiping thing, or what?  Neither movie feels the need to explain this shit either, and something similar happens again in the second movie, yet it is never explained, never mentioned again in the series.  Also to make things even what-the-fuckier, the dick chopping lady carries one of these things of when she turns into a crow, or whatever, and blows up the windows in the hotel.  Goddammit, plan shit out before you do it.

 

Stupid Shit in Anime – Code Geass

Problem, plausibility?

I may be stepping on a few toes here, but I really don’t think Code Geass is as good as everybody makes it out to be.  I think my main issue may be with the fans, and how much people will follow this show into the dark, and not even recognize it’s completely stupid moments.  Case in point; the episode called “The Stolen Mask” from the first season.  I can’t tell you how much this episode pissed me off, and how much I wanted to go and kill the first fifty cats I could find.  If case you forgot (but how the fuck could you) this episode involves a god damn, shit suckin’, mother fuckin’ cat that steals Lelouche’s Zero mask, and him trying to catch it.  Do you really need a reason to hate this?  I mean, Christ, this goes on for the WHOLE episode, it’s boring, and it’s not funny.  Seriously, did the writer think people would actually be afraid that Lelouche would be found out by anyone, was this really so important that we had to watch a whole episode about it.  Some might say it does have a point, because the uppity pretentious brit-fags accept Suzaku because he saves the damn cat, but surely there was a better way to do it than this.

Stupid Shit in Anime – To Aru Majutsu no Index

Eardrums grow back… right?

Well let’s not kid ourselves here folks, this whole series (both seasons) is pretty  ridiculous and outlandish, but hey, that’s the world that it’s fiction established, so it’s fine by me.  However there is one moment in the second season that had me confused as to whether I should laugh or be creeped out.  This moment happens at the end of episode four of the second season, “Voice of the Demon Killer (Sheol Fear)”.  To start off with, this episode is pretty ridiculous in-and-of itself.  I mean it’s got a bunch of stuff about Angelic and Catholic churches fighting, killer zombie nuns, and other odd things.  However the one moment that I found just too stupid, and almost laughable, happens at the very end of the episode.  Index uses some uber opera singing magic called Sheol Fear to paralyze all of the killer zombie nuns, but their leader does something and makes all of the nuns STAB THEMSELVES IN THEIR EARS WITH INK PENS SO THEY WON’T BE EFFECTED BY THE SONG.  I mean, where do they even get these pens?  Do nuns just walk around carrying ink pens?  But if that’s the case, they would need ink to even use them, so do they carry those too?  Or were they just given to the zombie nuns, because the leader-girl knew index would use the singing thing-a-ma-shit?  Who the fuck knows?  All I know is that I laughed my ass of at this scene, but then felt like maybe I shouldn’t have; that is was supposed to be dramatic.  But, come on, can you blame me for laughing at zombie nuns stabbing themselves in the ears so they didn’t have to listen to Index’s shitty singing?  No? Didn’t think so.

Stupid Shit in Anime – Samurai Champloo

Did you not READ the bullshit notice?

Now, I in NO WAY want to criticize Samurai Champloo for anything, as it is one of the most kickass (as well as one of my favorite) animes ever.  However, there is ONE episode of this series that, to this day, brings my piss to a boil.  This episode, known as either “Cosmic Collisions” or “Anger Shot Toward Heaven” ,takes place rather late in the series, only one episode shy of the final story arc.  In this episode Mugen, Fuu, and Jin fall into a mine shaft and meet it’s strange leader, who is searching for the treasure of his ancestors.  However, when Fuu overhears two of the workers talking about events that took place hundreds of years in the past as if they were current events, she suspects something is amiss.  Not to spoil anything, but it turns out this mine shaft is somehow stuck in some alternate reality where time moves at a snails pace because all of the workers eat some plant or something, I don’t know, but it turns out everyone’s a zombie or something, the dude isn’t really an ancestor of the owners of the treasure, something blows up and a giant mushroom cloud forms; end of the episode.  Honestly, there is no way to describe how stupid and pointless this episode is, and it’s made even stupider by the fact that it was probably just a hallucination caused by Mugen and Jin eating some mushrooms in the beginning of the episode.  But that doesn’t excuse this episode, it’s never spoken of again, and it happens right before the final of the series, and that is why I can’t forgive it for being so damn stupid.

Stupid Shit in Anime – Evangelion

No, you can't touch the carpet, It's lava!

There’s plenty of stupid shit that confused me in Evangelion, (not the mindfuck parts) like how Asuka has boxes of stuff to the roof of Misato’s apartment, yet after they’re unpacked, she doesn’t have nearly enough stuff in her room that would have filled up a single one of those boxes.  I also hated how they would always give Shinji, Asuka, and Rei guns to fight the angels, but they would always end up killing them with the knife thing; I mean how long does it take to realize that guns WON’T PENETRATE THE AT FIELD?

Anyway, in my opinion the most unbelievable part of the whole series is the episode called “Magmadiver”.  In this episode there’s an angel deep underground surrounded by magama, and Asuka must put on a special thermal suit, and have her Eva outfitted with another thermal suit, obviously so she doesn’t die from the heat.  However, something goes wrong and the angel acts like NERV didn’t expect, and Shinji jumps in to save Asuka.  Now this may sound normal, however, Shinji NEVER put on any kind of special suit or have his Eva outfitted with anything.  Even as a kid I was baffled by this; How did he get down there so fast? How has his skin not melted off his body?  Was it because of Unit 01? No, it was because Gainax didn’t think anybody would care about it, because in the end Shinji saved Asuka.  Well, I cared about it, it made no sense then, and it makes no sense now.