Guilty Crown Episode 5 – All for the Nookie

Okay, we now know Shu’s deep and thought-provoking reason for joining Funeral Parlor; to bang Inori.  He says it straight up in this episode that he went with them because she came to the giant Property Damage fest last episode, and that he even wants to leave together with her.  You may be just a little premature there, bud, after all, you’ve only known her for about a week, if that.  Other than Shu’s loser reason to be where he is, and him whining about Gai, this is pretty much a “You’re one of us now” episode.

It also features everybody’s favorite cripple, Nunnal- I mean Ayase, who’s a typical tsundere, only she’s in a wheelchair.  She’s been tasked with teaching Shu how to be a terrorist, but doesn’t like him, because he tried to be nice to her.  Seriously, I’ve never known why people in wheelchairs in movies and T.V. always have to be such assholes about people helping them out.  This may just be me, but when I hold the door open for crippled or disabled people, they don’t tell me to go burn in hell for trying to be nice to them.  And I knew the second Shu said something about her wheelchair, she was going to bitch him out, or punch him or something.

 

Kramer says: “Crippled people want to be treated the same as the rest of us!”

So after Shu passes out for no apparent reason, he awakes in a bed naked, for no apparent reason.  But a “humorous” scene occurs when Cripple comes in the room only to see his junk hanging out, so she slaps him for not having clothes, as tsunderes often do.  She also has Shu’s communicator pen, and promises to give it back to him if he becomes a member.  Then they go around to all the different training whatchamacallits and for some reason, the members are surprised that a high school boy isn’t a professionally trained hitman/terrorist.  But really, why would Shu ever have to do any of that?  I’d imagine his single task would be to blow stuff up with voids, not to be a pro knife fighter.

“… actually it was all for the nookie.”

Next we have a huge lolfest of a scene.  After he finds her singing, as he always seems to, Shu pretty much tells Inori that he wants to make love to her and that the whole reason he even considered joining was because of her.  If you were expecting her to say stuff like she did on the train and last episode, sucks for you, because all that stuff she said was only something that Gai told her to do so Shu would join them.  Well, good for her, or her character at least.  I’m glad she’s not some doe-eyed romantic set-piece for Shu, and still has some mystery around what she is.   So obviously, Shu feels like a huge asshole, and wonders why he even bothered to come with them, but that feeling gets even worse when he sees Inori going in to Gai’s room, obviously to have sex.

So jelly u all b

Well, in the scene it shows of them in his room she’s sitting beside some hospital bed and Gai talks about how much someone looks like her, but really, what else could you possibly thing when you look at this?  So, Shu runs away crying about how everybody loves Gai, and runs into Tsudere.  Instead of being a bitch to him, she actually tells him to do good at the test the next day, and soon he’ll see everything from their point of view.

Finally, we have the big battle scene thing that must happen every episode, which consist of Shu playing paintball with a mecha.  Instead of playing by the rules, he uses hax and pulls a Void out one of the members who are watching (who is also dangerously close, by the way).  So after he cheats by using a Void everybody cheers and accepts him, even the bitchy crippled girl.  But obviously things can’t stay good for too long and Tsugumi tells everyone that  some giant laser cannon thing fired where Gai was.  What is it?  I don’t know and the show doesn’t explain what it was, or where it was.

Hey, who knows, maybe Gai will die and Shu will get to take over Funeral Parlor.  Yeah, why not?  Gurren Lagann did it, so why can’t this show?  But I’m just making shit up, I really don’t think that that’ll happen.  But, God, I really want this show to go somewhere fast, because it actually seems to be getting better, or maybe I’m just adjusting to it’s mediocrity, who knows?