Well, it’s about damn time we got to see something interesting happen in this show. After eight episodes of Ichika’s being an alien having absolutely no ramifications to the plot, we finally get some sci-fi stuff. Also, Kaito gets brought back to life for the second time in about a month. Come on, couldn’t you have done everyone a favor and let that idiot bite the dust, Ichika? Even with the introduction of the alien/sci fi elements, the one thing that this episode firmly cemented in my mind is this: I absolutely abhor Kaito.
I really cannot fathom what goes on in this idiotic persons mind. “Hey, some crazy Pokemon reject is attacking the girl I have a crush on. Instead of running away with her, how about I bum rush this ten foot tall neon-bear with a stick?”. What the hell kind of thought process does this moron go through before making such stupid decisions? For that matter, why the fuck would you try to kiss Ichika in front of the house where all your friends are staying too, is there really nowhere else you could think to try that? But not only does this dipshit try to fight this alien rescue ranger that knocked him off the face of a mountain, he takes it even further. After Ichika’s other alien thing from the episode swoops in and saves him, he jumps off of it to try to save her… again. Now, this thing wasn’t a few feet in the air or anything, this was stories above the damn thing. And what did this accomplish? He plows the mini spaceship into the alien thing and dies… again.
I’m sorry, but I can have no sympathy for a character this idiotic. Not only was he completely unfazed by Rinon, a flying pink teletubby, but he didn’t even bat an eye at this giant otherworldly being attacking Ichika. What in the hell is wrong with this asshole’s mind? Anybody else in the world would have been scared shitless by that thing, but brave Mr. Romance’s feelings are too great to let something as pathetic as a giant fucking alien stop him from showing off to the object of his desires. Kaito sucks ass; he’s a genric harem lead douche who’s as dumb as a mentally handicapped goldfish.
But unfortunately to get to any of the alien stuff, you have to sit through some standard festival scene stuff, complete with eating a bunch of festival food, the test of courage and people treating yukata as if they’re the sexiest thing that has ever been conceived. I know they’re pretty and everything, but I don’t really see how a girl covering every inch of her body in fabric translates to “sexy beyond belief” to people in anime. Seeing Remon fuck with everybody was fun, but it seems like that’s the only thing pushing me going through the swamps of genricness that litters this show. She finally has everyone’s feelings down, so now I can assume that she can begin her master plan of epic trolling. Still, no explanation as to why she’s so uncaring about everything, but even she looked a little upset during that last scene. Man, just don’t mess up the one good thing that you have going for you by giving her some half-baked reason for being so accepting of Ichika being a alien and so obviously trying to mess with her about it.
So now all we need is for Ichika to want to be gay for Mio (which would be awesome). Oh yeah, there is some of the movie that they’re making in here too, but that doesn’t last too long. Even Kaito, with all of his dipshitery, remarks about how off base their movie has gotten. Isn’t this whole show supposed to be about making the damn movie, because that’s really what I signed up to see. I don’t think that I was the only person sold on that idea either, because the PV’s sure as hell made it seem like it would be more of that and less of what it’s actually doing. I’m sure that I’m not the only person who’d like to see more of that aspect of the series instead of the “Love Cycle” Remon illustrated for us. Take Super 8 for example, I thought watching them make the movie was much more entertaining than the cliched Spielberg ET/Alien knockoff, and their movie at the end was fucking hilarious, probably the best part of the movie. And how about American Movie? I fucking love that movie. Maybe I just like movies in general and love the process of making them, but that seems like a much better idea for a show than an alien rom-com. But hey, at least now everyone knows that Ichika is an alien and some cool alien shit can happen right?
Friends, after watching this episode, I can tell you this with all the confidence in the world; I have never been, nor do I believe that I ever will be, more uncomfortable watching an episode of anime, television, a movie or anything in a room by myself in my entire life. It’s one thing for something to make you uncomfortable in front of other people, like watching The Black Swan with girls, but for something to make you uncomfortable while you’re by yourself is an accomplishment that requires some huge recognition. I was about to explode from anticipation of what was going to happen before Tsukihi walked in and broke it up. Oh yeah, this is the start of Tsukihi’s arc, but you definitely wouldn’t know that by watching the episode. She’s in the episode for about thirty seconds total excluding the OP, which is probably going to be even more obsessed over than Renai Circulation.
There really isn’t much to say about this episode, as it was mostly dedicated to making everyone who watched it feel like they need to go and scrub every inch of their body with sandpaper to cleanse themselves. They kind of tried to reintroduce Kanbaru into the story by having Karen want to meet her, but we all know what came out of that deal. I mean, did Araragi just forget that Senjougahara exists and that if it had been her instead of Tsukihi, then he and Karen would have both been dead the very moment she stepped foot into the room? You might be pushing your luck a little too far this time, Araragi.
Now that’s a rape face if there ever was one. Actually, I think I’ve figured out what this episode was. This episode is some wincest hentai that got interrupted at the halfway point where the sex actually starts. The first half wasn’t even really all that bad. Even though Karen did say that she’d let Araragi take her virginity, it was pretty obvious that it was meant as a joke. However, once that toothbrush came out – sweet baby Jesus that shit got real. I felt like I was committing incest just sitting there and watching that whole scene play out. And that shit wasn’t like the kiss, where it could easily be taken as brotherly love for his sister, Araragi straight up says, “I think my sister is hot, hearing her moan excites me, and I want to grope her boobs”. But not only that, After Tsukihi breaks it up and goes to get a fucking awl to stab them to death with (surely she could have thought of something more creative than that), Araragi and Karen don’t back off and admit to each other that what they just did was in any way weird at all. Instead, they make arrangements to do it again and also trade places sometimes. Sure, “got along a little bit better” Araragi, whatever you say.
Finally, as this show goes on I’m getting a very bad feeling about how much time is left for Tsukihi’s arc. Karen’s took seven episodes to complete, and though in the novel Tsukihi’s arc only takes thirteen chapters (whereas Karen’s took twenty two) I can’t help but think that three episodes isn’t enough to complete the whole second half of the series without rushing through it. Goddammit Shaft, if you pull that ONA shit again, you and I are gonna have a few things to talk about. And they really have no excuse to need extra episodes because so much of this series has been unnecessary in the overall storyline of the show. Shaft, you’re making Kizumonogatari, (you’d better be), and three Madoka Magica movies, slow your roll a bit. If you guys end up bullshitting us on the ending of this show I am personally enrolling every one of your employees in a time management class.
Well, once again, Fate/Zero sets a bunch of pretty cool stuff up, then yanks the carpet out from under us. Like the other time this happened, a bunch of people fight and in the end, it’s pretty much like it didn’t happen. But there was a lot of blood in it, so we’re a step in the right direction.
While there are technically three fights in this episode next to nothing happens in Saber and Lancer’s fight with Caster, and most of the episode is spent on Kiritsugu and Kirei. Kirei, also known as Wolverine, feels the need to come and join the fun, and while I suspect that he simply came under the churches orders to help kill Caster, Irisviel and Maiya decide that they need to take on a superhero mage-killer. Not surprisingly Maiya gets the shit beaten out of her, because apparently she didn’t learn anything about fighting him the first time he attacked her. Although Kirei tries to tell the two idiots that he (probably) just came to kill the child murderer, Irisveil decides that she wants some abuse too, and calls out her neon string falcon to help.
And of course the show doesn’t have to courtesy to tell us what this thing is; all she says is that Kiritsugu taught her how to do it. Although her magic bird manages to tie Kirei to a tree, that doesn’t do too much good, because instead of shooting him, Maiya sits there for thirty seconds and watches him break down the tree. Then when he walks over to her she pulls her gun out, only to get kicked around some more. Then Kirei moves onto Irisveil and questions her about why they tried to fight him, but I don’t really see how he expected her to answer him when he was chocking her the whole time. Then shit almost gets real when he stabs her with his wolverine claws and leaves her to die, which actually kind of caught me off guard. But of course, the show delivers some back story about how Kiritsugu gave her some magic sword scabbard that heals her when Saber is near, and she lives to die another day.
Like I said before, Saber and Lancer’s fight was really short. Literally nothing happens beyond Saber making an opening for Lancer to destroy Caster’s book, and him cutting it. After he does, all of Caster’s crazy tentacle monsters explode into blood and Caster gets really butthurt.
Then Caster pussy’s out and leaves in some big fancy blood explosion, and Lancer goes to interrupt Kayneth’s and Kiritsugu’s fight, which pretty much consisted of Kayneth wandering around the mansion and some Kiritsugu back story. In a flashback, Kiritsugu is show having his ribs removed, ground up, and put into bullets, which somehow does some magic something or other to a Magus, rendering their magic useless. At first he just hits Kayneth in the shoulder, but then the mercury gantz ball stops the bullet which pretty much kills Kayneth fro the inside.
Just when it looks like someone may actually be killed, Lancer steps in and cockblocks the whole thing. He appears, grabs Kayneth and jumps through the window, simultaneously flipping off everybody who wanted something to happen. So Caster leaves, Kayneth get’s rescued, and Irisviel lives, so pretty much nothing happens. It’s not like I just want everyone to die in a single episode, but I’m getting annoyed at this show constantly resetting everything to zero after these big fight scenes. You know what? I’ll say right now, that no one will die before this “season” of the show is over, and it’s going to piss me off to have to wait until April to see the rest of the show.